the darkest part of my mind.

to who ever read's this. i hope they realize that this is what runs through my mind some times. i've seen nothing but the worst out of people. its pushed me to the point where i want to end it all. because no one gives too shits about me. i mean i've done nothing but cherish there friendship and who they are as people. and than they hear some bull shit another person says and that takes priority over me. like my so called friend xio. girl if you do read this. i'm just pissed at every one. don't take personally. i've done nothing wrong to you. i don't know why your going through great lengths to ignore me now. but as for my friend manny. what the fuck is on your role son. like on some real shit. i can't tolerate that fucking drug useing moron your chillin with. he is a bad fucking influence and he is a dil hole. but more to the reason why i can't tolerate my life any more. i'm sick of all the bull shit. i'm sick of all of it. ya can think what ya want of me. cause its not gonna matter for much longer.

hello all.

i've been having a lot on my mind lately. mainly the death of my kitty itty bit 23 years old died a while back now still looms in my mind. i feel like its my fault that i could not get her into a vet in time. two i been trying to find the one i can call mine. and been failing measurably. Three been trying to get my act together so this way when i do finally get a girlfriend thats into the crazy crap that i'm into i can actually support what we do go to private places and shit. my mind is driving me crazy. thoughts of thoughts saying the death of my cat was my fault. i know its not i just feel so much guilt. trying to run from my thoughts. not sure what i can do. i'm never happy. to be blunt. i don't know what happiness is, no one is into what i'm into so on and so forth. my life is so crazy right now i had to post pond my cartoon. my brain hurts. i wish a girl would come along and take me away from the crazy abuse i have gone through as a child and an adult.

My very first ghost experience

The first time I recall my first paranormal experience. I was 13, I was hanging out with my friend Adam, We where hanging out after school one day when he came up with the idea of going into his building. Now I had already known about this building known as the devils building. Now when this happened I laughed at all this stuff. Mainly for the simple fact that I had not experienced it my self. He said in the beginning of the day that there was a lady that could summon ghosts. And has been summoning ghosts before we where born. So I agreed. So after school we went to the building where he lived, Yes he lived in this place as well. So we went to the most haunted floor, it was the 12th. we got out of the stair case he stepped out first. He had the look of fear in his face, and I started to push his arm, like hey, hey whats going on. he said for me to look. So I thought he was just bluffing and I looked. And behold, what do I see. But an old lady, with short gray hair, eyes where black, and than she pointed her finger at both of us, than let out this deadly scream. I mean it was so loud it was deafening.

and than after it was over we ran for our lives. me being so young at the time so my mind just blocked the incident. Later on

In my blogs, I will tell everything else.